I want to share with you a story about a woman who only learned her true worth at the age of 45, and why it’s so important to know yours.
At the age of 22 she married a man 11 years her senior. He was a school teacher and a good sportsman, but also an alcoholic. During the summer school holidays she wouldn’t see him sober for the whole 6 or 7 weeks. He would drop her at her work still drunk from the night before, and by the time she got home in the evening he was drunk again. He once threw his dinner at the wall because there weren’t enough shrimps in it (it was packet rice risotto!). He was angry and took pleasure in putting her down. There were so many of these situations that within 2 years she left him. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
Her self confidence at an all time low, she began dating an elite rugby player who was a chronic womaniser. This lasted just over a year when he dumped her for another woman. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
She eventually moved to Wellington for her work, where she met and fell in love with a detective. Theirs was a very quick romance with their engagement announced within 6 months. This guy was also a very good musician who played in a band and took every opportunity to cheat on her - there were many. Sadly, her father got terminal cancer and died within a matter of 4 months. As they drove up the drive from his funeral, her fiancé announced he was leaving her. He told her she was too depressing to be around. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
Now in her mid thirties she met a pilot with whom she spent nearly 10 years. During that time he pretended he was single (unbeknownst to her), and saw many other women. Just before Christmas she had to have surgery. He was away on a work trip which got disrupted and meant he was upset as there was no time to have fun - he was meant to have a day off in Vanuatu but ended up having to work out of Brisbane. After the surgery she received a text from him meant for the woman he had spent the previous night with. Apparently he’d had a great night, and couldn’t wait to do it again - including the graphic details about what he was going to do. This lead to her having a nervous breakdown. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
The Universe will bombard you with situations until you’ve learned what you need to. It took this woman until the cheating pilot to finally realise she was worth so much more. I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but that woman was me. So, what’s the point of this story, and how does it relate to style? It is not a pity party - I don’t want or need anyone’s pity.
At 45 I finally understood that I wanted to be loved and treated well, and that I deserved that. Fast forward 9 years and I’m now 54 and have never been happier. I have been with a lovely man for over 8 years. He treats me with love and respect, and tells me often he’s very proud of me. I’m more wrinkled, bigger, have cellulite, and yet so happy - why? Because now I’m my best version of me. I am not conceited nor egotistic, but I AM confident. I wear clothes that make me feel good and that represent how I want to be perceived, without worrying about pleasing anyone else. Lacking self belief can be debilitating and doesn’t help anyone. So how do you change that? Believe me, I still struggle with my internal conversations about myself, but you can read, travel, do charity work, do something nice for someone without them knowing - there are so many things we can all do to help ourselves and others. And never apologise for feeling good about yourself! Surround yourself with people you admire and don’t mix with the naysayers - they’ll only bring you down. KNOW YOUR WORTH!
When you believe in yourself you’re not afraid to treat yourself well, you can celebrate your own style and help others to feel great about themselves, too. My greatest reward as a Personal Stylist is helping my clients identify their own style, and grow their confidence. Let’s straighten each other’s crowns, be kind, and offer genuine compliments as often as possible because when you KNOW YOUR WORTH it’s so easy!